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In the long and storied history of teledildonics, science has always tried to recreate the inside of a woman’s wee-wee and poop parts with accuracy, tact, and lubrication. Well, friends, all those years of effort have paid off with the RealTouch, a honking big device that recreates every nuance of the human anatomy, albeit in a way that makes it look like you’re violating Mr. Peanut.

How does it work? While you watch a video on your PC, the device reacts to the on-screen action. Dual rubber bands run up and down inside the case while a handy reservoir releases lube. The action corresponds with motion cues sent over U.S.B. from your computer ensuring that you staring at your computer with a log on your lap isn’t creepy at all.

I think the funniest thing is the size of this thing. Look at the video on the RealTouch website (VERY NSFW) when you have a chance. This think looks bigger than my old VW Beetle.

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